20 week scan

My son.


Was that really you?

That tiny hand, waving
grey fuzzy fingers
saying hello
in utero

Was that already you?

Were you thinking
five fingers on each hand.
Were you tasting
Mummy canna have-a apple?
Were you seeing
Oh! Mummy all red.
Were you bouncing
saying weeeeeeee

but soundlessly

inside of me.

Unthinkable and yet
as you curl up on my lap
lean in to me
clutching close
so close
feel my touch
hear my voice
smell my scent
I wonder:
do you remember
that home of heart beats
yours and mine
or both in harmony
and do you sometimes wish
you could go back and
that we could be


Are your desperate tears
a yearning for a time
when I could never leave,
never be apart
from you?

I go and wave

You wave five grubby fingers
peach and apple-sticky
waving still but frowning
as already you yearn

for my return.


(c) Judith Kingston, 2013

Prose for Thought

19 responses

  1. Beautiful. It’s wistful and sweet. It made me think of my own scans and how incredible they were and reminded me why my daughter is so clingy! Amazing to think they were once part of us.

  2. Ahh this is really beautiful. I’ve never really thought of whether our little big people remember that time. Really enjoyed reading this. Popping over from Prose4T

    • I think children do retain some memories of the womb very early on, but they fade before they are properly able to discuss them.

    • It has been pointed out to me that my poems are always a bit sad – sorry! Will try for a chirpy one next week. πŸ™‚

  3. Obviously (being a bloke!) I couldn’t experience what you’re describing first hand but I do remember the joy and wonder of it all. I loved that ‘bump’, and communed with the developing him in every way I could, but envy you ladies for that most intimate connection… Mind you, I could probably live without the morning sickness, labour etc… πŸ˜‰

  4. Really enjoyed this as I looked at my little girl the other day and wondered how she got so big from such a tiny tiny egg… She isn’t one for clingyness and I wish she was sometimes. But I love the fact they are all so individual πŸ™‚ lovely poem xx

  5. Totally beautiful. It really made me think about how they could never be apart from us for 9 months even if they had wanted to and now they are growing and starting to make their own way in the world. Thank you for linking to Prose for Thought – and well done for first! πŸ˜‰ x

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